Dude, that's my car
by Ron Weasley
Summary: Hakuryu's a jeep, a freaking jeep. Goku wants a fridge, Sanzo's apprehensive and Gojyo just doesn't trust Hakkai.


**Disclaimers:** Not mine, not mine.

**A/N: **Originally Posted on LJ. It's involves hakuryu and the boys' reaction to him being a jeep and a little of Kanzeon as well. I'm not sure if this idea's been used, I hope it hasn't. I really really do.

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**_When Man meets Car_**

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'_Forget that Jiroshin, come here and watch.' Kanzeon said with a hint of amusement in her voice. Jiroshin put down his bundle and sighed as he walked over to the Goddess' side and peered into the lily pool._

'_Our boys, have found Gojun.' she said on the verge of bursting into laughter._

'Oh, that's magic.' Hakkai said matter-of-factly.

Gojyo snorted. 'The chimp may be ready to believe that dooze but Sanzo sama and I here won't be jumping on your magic wagon so quickly.'

'Hey, that's not being fair to Hakkai.' Goku retorted and sat upright in the backseat, bouncing a little. 'At least we won't have to walk. What's so bad about this anyway?'

_Fucking lizard became a fucking jeep_ Sanzo rationalised as he whipped out his gun and pointed it at the jeep. Metal scraped against metal and Hakkai quickly cut in, stroking the car as he did, claiming with a hint of irritation that he wasn't being very polite and that Hakuryu was quite upset at that.

'It's a fucking car.' Sanzo said, returning his gun. He folded his arms and glared at something in the distance.

The jeep made a noise that Sanzo was sure he had heard the lizard make, he took a step back and his hand shot straight back to his gun.

Gojyo stood there in the midst, eyeing the vehicle with as much suspicion as he possibly could. If it belonged to Hakkai, it was definitely not something he'd trust at all, let alone place his bottom on, and especially more so if Hakkai claimed it was Magic. _...the fuck? Magic?_ What if that thing ate his manhood? The thought was absolutely absurd, which was why he didn't put it past Hakkai.

'Oi Hakkai, why is it Green?' Gojyo asked curiously, it was also unnerving that the car was the colour he so often saw on Hakkai. It was probably nothing but he could never be completely sure with Hakkai.

Hakkai looked at him as he stroked the door, then he placed a finger to his lips in thought.

'Hmm, I never really thought about that.' Then he looked intently at the piece of metal he was stroking and muttered. 'Hakuryu probably thought I liked it.'

Gojyo was definitely missing something. How the fuck did he get so intimate with the _...thing_. He slowly backed out of the image that his mind had begun to play of Hakkai smiling and putting an ear to the dragon's mouth, listening to it _talk_. He managed to cut it off where Hakkai began to cup his hands around his mouth and whisper secrets back to it.

As Gojyo huffed and tortured himself with the sight of Hakkai so intimately connected with his car, Hakuryu let out an annoyed squeal.

Hakkai laughed, waving politely. 'Hakuryu wasn't green,' then he paused and frowned.

'He actually wanted to be orange. He was quite insistent initially.' Hakkai continued, petting the car like he would a child.

'But I thought green looked better on him.' He ended with a smile.

Gojyo would have throttled him but that horribly anti climatic confession somewhat quelled his doubts and he gave in, hopping into the seat next to Goku.

'Huuh, it's really not bad back here.' he said, assessing his surroundings.

'Yeah! We can store food!... Or can we keep a fridge?'

Despite the cute high pitched squeal, they were sure Hakuryu was actually cursing them.

'There's no electricity in the car.' Sanzo growled.

'Haha!' Gojyo laughed hard and shook the vehicle. 'Dumb ape!'

'Hakuryu thinks you're a bit of a weight to carry.' Hakkai said, considerably happier that he had only one detractor left to convince.

Goku snorted.

'It's not me, it's the dumb chimp! Hakkkai!'Gojyo half pleaded.

'Don't call me that!' Goku yelled into Gojyo's face as they began to tussle.

'The empty head probably evens out the weight he carries round in his stomach.' Sanzo muttered.

'Come on Sanzo, get in!'

'Hurry up, you pissy monk!'

Sanzo stared and lifted his hand to the door, the other clutching the gun in his sleeve. Hakkai climbed into the driver's seat and smiled at him. Sanzo grunted as snatched the door open and flung himself into the seat.

'If I die, I'm taking you with me.' He said taking his hand out of his sleeve to point the gun at Hakkai.

Hakkai laughed heartily as he revved the engine. The car began to move. He gripped the steering wheel and looked into the rear view mirror.

'You know, it really is magic.' He grinned.

_'Magic, Jiroshin, is tricky, but it's Tenpou's logic...' Kanzeon thought as she sat back contentedly and watched the little car bounce and rattle from the commotion the passengers and its driver were making. _


End file.
